Its been a few weeks since I have last posted and thought it was time to make sure the interweb has not forgotten me. I usually have an overarching theme that I like to use that helps me write and focus on what I want to say. Well, tonight I am just throwing things out that are in my mind. Like for starters, my mom has found out that after battling cancer last year, she has a mass on her brain. Of all the people in the world to have to fight something as terrible as cancer and beat with out it ever bringing her down, only to have something just as if not more scary appear is not really fair. She has never done a bad thing that I can think let alone enough to have to face this. I am not a religious man in the church sense but I do contain a very spiritual aspect to my life. And I am asking God to help her thru this and make sure that everything turns out as smoothly as possible. She deserves to just be able to experience life the way she wants and not have to deal with all the things that she has the last year. She is going to talk with a neurosurgeon tomorrow to find out when they will do the operation to remove it and plan out the schedule for radiation. The radiation is only supposed to take 3 weeks which is going to be good for her so she can get it all done before Christmas and she can enjoy the holiday with everyone.
I am not someone who will broadcast my problems for everyone to see and hear or read, but this is something I feel I just need to voice my frustrations over and comment on how unfair and actually scared I am at this turn of events. My mom is one of the single most important people in my life and the one that I pull a lot of my own drive and motivations from. And I am just sick and tired of seeing good people suffer. There are many more people out there who are struggling with one thing or another and they also have all my good thoughts and wishes that things are going to turn around quickly and they will be able to move to happier moments.
I am not going to make this whole thing a bad news post, I do have some good news, well potential good news. I have sent my transcripts off to be reviewed at Rio Salado so that I can be placed in a Bachelor's program for Elementary Education. I know it's a community college but it is allowing me to do something with my life that I actually want to do instead of working at a place where I never get anywhere or ever be truly happy at.
I enjoy being around kids and being involved with kids. I want to be able to teach them since I am not having my own kids anytime in the near future I want to make sure that I am able to make an impact that while may be not known right away they say the teacher really helped me to understand and took time to make sure I get it. I am sure this something that all teachers say but this is something that I will actually do. I have always said I wanted to leave a mark on the world and this is the way I am going to do it. So once that is completed I will know how many if any underclassmen classes I will have to take as I went to a technical school to get my Associate's degree. I will get to start no matter what on teaching classes so that will be awesome so in a couple of years I will be teaching, Hooray!!!
So this brings up the house buying situation I have been making a main focus but with school I want that to be priority one. Since I can't get approved anyway I can work on some how starting to save money on things and put it away so that I can have a good down payment. I will be able to save more soon since I have paid off my credit card and my car will be paid off in the first couple months of the year. So I am very excited about that development a few other small bills and all I will have to pay each month is my monthly services bills. I am on the cusp of feeling like things may finally be going my way. A few other areas I need or want to improve but one step at a time.
I can't wait to feel good when I wake up every morning and know that I am headed on the right path. It's been a very long time since I have felt that way. I am still learning to not think very far ahead as that is what has caused me issues in the past
I know there is more that I was thinking of saying but I have been sick all day and my mind has just been out of it all day.
You know I don't really pray much as of lately, but I am for your mom. She is always taking care of everyone else and being such a great person and I also think it is not fair. The saying is "God never gives you anything you aren't strong enough to handle" and I think that fits your mom. She is a very strong person and I know she can beat this too. Its going to be another hard and trying time and Liam and I will be here for you and for her however you need us to be.
ReplyDeleteThat's really exciting about you going back to school. It will be long and hard like High Tech but as long as you keep the end result in mind that will help. FYI- I am not helping you with math. LOL
You are such an amazing person. I am sure you will make a great teacher. Your mom is in our prayers.
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